Tags
Chemical Engineering, Christianity, Concert, End, Exam, First Year, God, Imperial College, New beginning, Passed, Plan, Repertoire
Reading the email, I felt the thump-thump of my heart – fast and monotonous and yet of unprecedented anxiousness and excitement. I scanned through the words and behold, I saw the 6 letter word – PASSED. I was ecstatic! I gave a whoop of happiness even though no one could hear me. I didn’t care because at that moment, I knew it was alright, everything was going to be okay. No more thoughts of unpleasant blows, torturous revision or traumatic disappointments.
The exam repertoire had played out and in the background, I heard the gentle, sweet symphony that sung me into a mesmerising nostalgia. The over-the-moon crescendo of elation was followed by the descent which had become not only the end but also the beginning of my adventure.
As I look back on the year, it has been a tough one. The days never seemed long enough nor did Time, in its armoured suit ever seem to mercifully slow down. Instead in its harsh self-vested interest, it sped up, stabbed me in the stomach and crushed my allies. It left me in the dust, breathless, losing the battle against myself.
The depth and breath of the materials covered in that grand yet stifling room was not impossible but definitely more than I had imagined. It was a safe house for the educated, an illusion that we created for ourselves to feel superior but it had turned on us and became the nightmare of its purpose. It became a prison for those who ruled over it and inferiority spread like vermin on the ground. Despite its unpleasantness, I learnt a tremendous amount about the subject I love and built friendships and camaraderie with a common goal and enemy. I admire and am immensely grateful for the people God has placed in my life this year. Friends to laugh and cry with and simply have a blast with.
Through the storm, God has really pulled me through. Without him there to give me a sense of purpose and provide the much needed encouragement, I wouldn’t be able to make it. At times, I was shaken and questioned my decision of studying Chemical Engineering at Imperial. I didn’t feel clever nor capable enough but the Lord doesn’t choose those who are eligible for the task. He Commands, He Promises and we take the Risk. Imperial has once again humbled me to continue surrendering and depending on God. In my weaknesses, may He be glorified.
I know that the Lord has a perfect plan. He humbles me to prove that I’m insufficient by human strength but in Him, I have been prepared for greater heights. He wants me to acknowledge my weakness and trust in Him. All that I am is yours Lord! Use me for your glory. You are the potter and I am the clay. I am willing and my heart belongs to you. Let my weakness be an avenue for your glory to shine among others that they may believe you are Lord. Though all I know is that 6 letter word for now, may you give me superb results that simply cannot be my own doing but can only be the work of God eternal. The God who loves passionately, saves indiscriminately and is the Lord of all creation. I thank Him for all He has done for me. To Him be all the glory, honour and praise.