Things I learnt this semester as a child of God

A new place means a new church, a new cell group and new Christian friends. I was extremely excited to see what adventure God had installed for me here at CMU! Almost like a little child, wide-eyed and curious about the surprises her father has planned for her!

I am delighted to say that God has really shown me a new aspect of himself here. In a sense, I think he has rekindled my first love for him. As I go to cell group and prayer meetings, I am inspired by the people there. I know that everyone has their own burdens and insecurities but the way they love God and desire to follow him just makes me want to love God more too! It has definitely been a blessing to be part of the Christian community here, even if I’m in a very small corner of it. Early in the semester, I decided that I would not go to PCC and large group on Friday. In a way, this isolated me from the people in the fellowship as I only met a small proportion of people but this allowed me to focus on my relationship with God, rather than worrying about making friends and the people around me. Throughout the semester, God has been been my strength and I thank him for guiding me and being faithful.

God has been teaching me about loving others this semester. It has been on my heart since the beginning of August. I looked around and asked myself the question: why do strong and mature Christians often struggle to display the love of Christ? Of course, God uses those who are weak, those who are sinners and are broken. But when you meet Christians, how many times do you really feel a warmth in your heart from their love? How can I declare that I love God who I do not see and am not able to love my brother who I do see. Cell groups have taught me a couple of practical things that I think really help with loving others in the Christian community. First, roses and thorns. Every week, we have to share a rose and a thorn. In essence, it’s sharing the good and bad things of our week. In this way, it provides an avenue for people to open up, even if it’s just a little. Another thing was eat ups, where you get paired up with someone and the both of you go out for a meal or hangout during that week. These are just small endeavors but I do think it is helpful!

Another thing I learnt from my cell group is learning to be open to each other and sharing our struggles. This is something that is very difficult for me. At every opportunity, I would very much rather listen to the struggles of others than talk of my own. Sure, I like to talk about myself and state the general complaints but the struggles that display weakness, those I tend to be more protective about. I often feel like my struggles are petty and insignificant, especially compared to others. I think I often don’t even acknowledge my own struggles and emotions unless I write it down. It just gets pushed to the corner and shoved under the carpet. But I do believe it is encouraging to share our struggles. Of course, it’s not necessary to share beyond what is required, but perhaps I should open up more. Even though it comes with a price of potentially getting hurt or or being subjected to the judgement and prejudice of others. Something I’m contemplating is to open up my blog for others to read. A decision for the new year!!

Recently, I have been wrestling with the concepts of injustice and mercy. When I feel like I have been unjustly wronged, I am filled my anger and rage. My heart cries out for justice and perhaps a tiny part of me cries out for revenge as well. But then I remember that God is just, that I need not take matters into my own hands. Then I was reminded that God is also merciful. If he has been so merciful to me, how can I be so harsh on others? Jesus came into this world and he suffered injustice too, much more than I can even comprehend. Instead of being upset, I should be amazed that I have a God who is not unable to sympathize with me.

My prayer life has changed as well. In the beginning of the term, I realized that I had been praying to Jesus for my whole life and then praying in Jesus name- clearly something wrong there. I was really confused and my pride was wounded. How could it be that for my whole life, I had been praying to the wrong person in the trinity and somehow no one told me? After a week or so, I felt that God the Father was too big and too powerful. I couldn’t address him with the same ease, he seemed too distant. I missed talking to Jesus! How could Jesus be my friend if I didn’t talk to him but only used his name? I felt miserable and one morning, I broke down before the Father. I told him I was so confused, I just wanted to do the right thing. While I begged him to help me, I felt his presence. It was such a comfort knowing that my Father in heaven heard my cries and gave me peace. Slowly, I also read passages like the Father and Jesus are one, and even though I still don’t comprehend the trinity as I would like, I take one step at a time and am happy with what God has revealed to me.

I am looking forward to what God has installed for me in the next year. I am sure there will be once again ups and downs but I know that he is faithful. I just pray that I will be a daughter that seeks to do his will and love him more and more every day.

Things I learnt this semester as a Carnegie Mellon University student

Tags

Carnegie Mellon University, education, Imperial College, learning, student, UK vs US, year abroad

I believe I have grown a great deal this semester. The U.S. is so different to the UK. For the first few weeks I could not fathom how countries that seemed so similar (both well developed countries and both speak English), could be so different from each other. At times, I really missed the familiarity of the UK, the comfortable routine that I had established. I missed pulling my friends hair in lectures when I was bored, I missed going out for dinners and I missed my church in London. But over the semester, the U.S really grew on me. I love the feel that the Carnegie Mellon campus carries and I have met great people here. People who are simply lovely and people whom I have plenty to learn from! I think I will miss this place even more when I leave. I will definitely be very sad when it is time to go!

One thing I learnt as a Carnegie Mellon student is that success and innovation comes with a price. And it is costly. I never knew Americans worked so hard until I came here. I was always under the misconception that Americans were really chill. Don’t get me wrong, they are awesome but they also work really hard and have fabulous time management skills! When I was at Imperial and given a project or problem sheet, I would wait for a few days before even reading the task that is laid out. I would then leave it for a day or two more before attempting to solve the problem. I would inevitably get stuck and sleep on it for a few more days before getting help in order to proceed further. As you can tell, it’s a painfully slow process. But I have the luxury of doing that as there is always ample time if you start early. In the U.S., it is quite different. I was shocked that the professor would teach something new on Tuesday and the homework for that topic would be due by Thursday. That meant I only had a day to do it! The turn around is so fast and there are so much assignments and tests that it is impossible to ‘sleep on it.’ For me, this is very different and has taught me not to procrastinate. Once given a new task, I should just sit down that afternoon/night and complete it. This newly cultivated habit will be one that I will treasure for the years to come!

With regard to the technical chemical engineering aspect of things, I don’t think I learnt as much as I would have if I had stayed in Imperial. Imperial definitely has more in depth technical teaching and much more difficult exams. But perhaps, I learnt different things – there were a lot of group projects and the practicality of the projects was something that amazed me. The group projects here are designed to give the students the opportunities to innovate. They are not problems with just one correct solution, but rather they are projects with solutions that can be improved on. In the most time-consuming classes I have ever taken, I learnt to pull all-nighters and persevere even when I feel like calling it day. I learnt that others may not always appreciate your work but you should always be fair – don’t compromise your sense of justice just because others do. A class that has brought me much frustration is my units ops class. It is the most disorganized class I have ever attended yet without doubt, also one of the most practical classes. Even though it brought me to my knees at times, it was also very interesting to see how the fundamental principles of physics are applied even in chocolate printing – much more than you can imagine!

From a holistic point of education, I learnt far more in these 3 short months than I would have in my four years at Imperial. The two business courses I took really opened my eyes to the world outside chemical engineering. I did so many things I wouldn’t have done. I had to sell things on campus and randomly advertise to people. It taught me to be more daring, more brazen. You are a nobody that nobody sent for. You have to ask or you will never be heard. I even contacted an entrepreneur who was awarded one of the 30 most successful entrepreneurs under 30 in the energy industry by Forbes to conduct an interview on his experience. I will have to blog about that! It was such a good experience to interview the entrepreneurs! In another class, I learnt about power and influence, biases and motivations, strategy and networks. They are all simple concepts that we simply brush aside without giving a second thought, yet they are incredibly powerful. I hope the concepts will become a part of me and not only help me view things differently but also help me communicate better.

I came to CMU wanting to learn and I did! It was a great learning experience and I can’t wait for what’s installed next semester! Especially with 112, an infamous computer programming course that I will be taking. And with this, I draw a close on my academic reflection of the fall semester.

Teaser trailer

Tags

blogging, teaser, year abroad

It’s nearing the end of the fall semester and I’m almost ashamed to say that I haven’t written much this semester. There were so many new experiences and so many adventures that God carried me through. Sadly, I haven’t blogged about them. Perhaps it was the busyness from demanding group projects or perhaps it was just my attitude where I push myself to do as many new things as possible since my time here is short.

When I was asked in cell group, what is your biggest regret of your semester here, I was tongue tied. I looked back and even though there were ups and downs, even though there were joyous moments and moments of confusion and frustration, overall, I really enjoyed my semester here. Of course there are things that could have gone better but would I do things the same – I think so! With slightly more time to ponder in the last few days, perhaps a little more reflection would have been beneficial. I sometimes forget how important it is to write things down, to ponder and reflect. In times of doubt and confusion, these writings not only serve as a reminder of the cross I have to carry as a follower of Jesus but also a reminder of God’s eternal faithfulness. Over the next few days, I will be writing a substantial number of posts! I wanna make up for all the lost memories! So stay tuned!

A note to my future self

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adventure, Christianity, future self, God, important, love, note, priorities

Well here you are, approximately 7 years later (as an engineer you are allowed to estimate haha), on your 27^th birthday and I have no idea what God has in planned for us or what life is like for you now. But I trust all is well. Whether you are soaring above the mountains or camping in the valleys, remember that you have a sovereign and powerful God whose chose you and adopted you into his family. His grace is undeniably amazing.

This week, I felt that there were a lot of things on my mind. I felt that they were important and I didn’t ever want to forget them. So here I am, reminding you even though it’s been 7 years.

First, I hope you will never forget your first love. I hope you will never forget those precious moments where you sat in the presence of the Lord and savored each and every moment of it. I hope you will never forget how you cried out to him when no one else could see the depths of your heart and he comforted you. I hope you will always seek God and his kingdom. I hope you will strive to be obedient to him, no matter what the cost. Even when the world pulls you in 10,000 different directions, I hope you will remember that you have given your life to him and it belongs to him. I hope you will strive to be a woman after God’s own heart, loving him with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.

Second, I hope you will never stop loving the adventures that life brings. I hope your will enjoy the gift of life and the joys of learning. When you were 20, you loved learning! You loved gaining new knowledge and fresh insight and marvelled at the things you didn’t know. You loved novel experiences! You loved traveling and exploring in new sights. You loved adventure. You loved nature and the freedom that comes with it. I hope you will continue to be amazed each time you see a beautiful sunset or the leaves dancing in the wind or the vast and lush greenery in the backdrop. I hope you will continue to be a hopeless romantic when it comes to these things.

I could write pages and pages to you but I think 3 is a good number. These will be things that you can keep close to your heart and force you to prioritize. Finally, I hope you will keep loving others. I believe a part of me really loves and cares for the people around me at the moment. I pray that whatever life brings our way, we will never stop loving. I hope that you will continue to love family, friends and the people God has put in our life. I hope that you will be compassionate as there is so much brokenness in the world. As I look at myself, I see so much of my own brokenness – my insecurities, my pride, my selfish desires. This is why we need a Saviour! But I hope that you would also look beyond yourself . I hope that you will be able to have compassion on the poor and weary, I hope that you will have a generous heart to give to those who have less than yourself – whether it is giving them money, time, encouragement or the gospel.

And these are the 3 things I want you to read on your 27^nd birthday! It seems like quite a while from now and I know things will be different. I would have had many more adventures and experiences. Many more sorrows and many more joyful moments. But I sincerely hope you will have grown closer in your walk with God. I hope you would strive to do his will and each day, you would be a light to the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.

Love, your beloved twenty-year-old self.

Sailing through Life

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Challenges, difficult, Life, Motivational, sailing, study, tough

When the lights switch off, do you ever stare into the vast darkness and wonder who you are? Do you ever close your eyes and for a moment, despise yourself and are filled with regret? Do you ever wonder what you are doing with your life? Spending hours studying a bunch of information that only seems to exist in academia. Spending hours in front of the laptop screen, stuffing your brain with junk to subconsciously forget about the present.

Do you ever feel incompetent? Your memory shifts back to that Tuesday night and you are reminded of your mission to tell others about the valuable treasure of the gospel. And you just feel breathless. You scream at life- telling it to stop. You just can’t keep up. You collapse on the pathway, unable to continue, you beg life – please pause for a bit, just till I get my breath back.

But life continues running, leaving you in the dust. Unable to explain it, you are somehow back in your feet and you have no choice but to continue moving. After all, it would continue pulling you even if had to drag you lifeless across the streets.You’re just sick and tired, confused and frustrated. 

Then God softly says, as you attempt to good things for me, we will achieve great things together. 

You feel touch and encouraged but you’re still running and you’re still exhausted. You don’t know how to continue, nothing seems to have changed. Even the wind has the same bearings. Speak to me Lord! I beg you. I’m so tired of it all.

If you’re going through tough times, remember that you are not alone. Everyone faces challenges but everyone responds differently. Some tell it on the mountains but others go on like it never happened. Nevertheless, challenges are impartial and inevitable and everyone faces them. I wrote the above extract when I was struggling this year. There were tough times for me this year but like any other year, I have somehow reached the pit stop! I have officially completed the year. I have not only finished my exams, received my grades but also completed my internship! I am so grateful to God for his sustenance this year and I praise his name! I have sailed through 1 storm but I know that several more await. But for now, let’s live life one day at a time. For now, it’s time to unwind before I set foot on a different continent and start a new journey!

Sophie Annalise

Contemplating the past

Tags

adventure, beautiful, Inca Rail, Machu Picchu, magnificient, new, Past, Peru, scenery, Train

As I contemplate on the past, I am reminded of the adventurous spirit in me, burning with passion and excitement, ready to take on the world! I hope I will never settle for less than that and keep pushing myself. I also hope for many more adventures and new experiences that make me gasp in awe and wonder at how big and beautiful this world is.

Here’s an extract I wrote during my trip to Machu Picchu when I went in 2013:

Nothing beats writing an extract on an old-fashion train, one where the seats are cushioned modestly and the horn hoots its loud drone ever so often. Now that’s the sound of an adventure that awaits, venturing into the unknown, taking risks and doing what you’ve never done before or maybe what you dare not even dream.

May I mention the perfect feel of dusk as the sun rays descend gently upon the carriage, not with its glaring light but with its warm glow. You look across the window and you see magnificence beyond comparison. The rushing rivers at eye-level, the base of a mountain range and as you look up, massive structures so intricately designed by nature and moulded by the forces of time. In the distance lies the snow-caped Andes. Simply perfect for writing 🙂

This is the beginning of my Machu Picchu adventure! Of course, I already spent some time in the Ancient Incan capital, Cusco but as I am on the train, the Inca rail, Machu Picchu here I come.

This is the extract I chose to use as my abstract, not only because I love the feel its carries but also because I believe it is the most apt. Machu Picchu was what lured me to South America, to cut short the time spent with mum and dad, to give up my other travel plans which are now no longer feasible, to spend three weeks in Manchester, not to mention the bureaucratic nightmare of doing the Indian visa myself. Thus I felt it would only be fair for my abstract and introduction to provide flair of what I envisioned this Machu Picchu adventure to be like, the excitement and tranquility, the risks and mystique, the eye-opening experience of seeing a different, unexplored world.

Sophie Annalise

11. The Odyssey by Homer

Tags

ancient, Book Review, cunning, Greek culture, hardship, hero, homecoming, Odysseus, Odyssey

The Odyssey by Homer

July 2015

I’ve always been fascinated by Greek culture but could never pinpoint what exactly excited me about this ancient superpower. Perhaps it was the voice of the reason from the philosophers with their radical ideas or the adventurous spirit as displayed by Alexander the Great or even the colour mythology and great oratory? Whatever it was, it was enough to draw me in to read the Odyssey, the famous poem by Homer.

Homer wrote two the epic narratives, the Illiad and the Odyssey. The Illiad is one of the oldest extant works in western literature, dating back to the 8^th century BC. They were passed on through oral tradition until around the 6^th BC where they were actually written down. Though the Odyssey may have been changed and altered through oral tradition, it is one of the few books of the ancient world to stand the ravages of time.

For me, I enjoyed the passionately vivid language, heightened and elevated. Odysseus was crafty and cunning, prone to tell elaborate and outrages tales far from the truth but the goddess Athena encourages us to applaud his ‘resourcefulness’. Though I am not one endorsing outlandish tales, I was impressed by Odysseus’ rhetoric and eloquence. Though his strength is nearly unrivalled, it is his craft that sets him apart. In essence, he is a hero because of his sharp mind and quick wit rather than his physical strength and I admire that.

Much of the Odyssey is about home coming – Odysseus undergoing various trials and hardships to finally reach to his native land, Ithaca. Upon further thought, I drew a parallel to our own lives – we too, are still waiting for our homecoming. We will have to undergo hardship and patient endurance before reaching our destination. But unlike Odysseus, we will not have to deal with unruly opponents hard press on marrying our wife and plotting our son’s murder. Rather we will have a glorious homecoming where our enemies have been defeated by the Son of Man. There will be no more tears, no more pain, just paradise.

Through the lens of others

Tags

artist, drawing, Giacometti, london, National Portrait Gallery, perspective

Last week I went to the drop in drawing session at the National Portrait Gallery. With a theme and drawing materials provided at the gallery, I just popped in at the gallery at 6:30 pm, unsure what to expect. I was surprised by the multitude of people who gathered there to draw! Other than feeling grossly incompetent at drawing due to the masterpieces in the making, it was a really lovely experience. I came late so I was a little unclear about the theme but it seemed to be inspired by Alberto Giacometti. He was a Swiss painter and sculpture who was very interested ‘energetic quality of void’. His drawings also used a lot of lines to create depth and bring out the geometric shapes. It was the first time I drew on black paper but it was definitely rather fun – drawing through the lens of Giacometti!

Sophie Annalise

Wimbledon 2015

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2015, Champion, feminism, Serena Williams, society, talent, tennis, Wimbledon, Winner

I didn’t like Serena Williams. She was forceful and strong and that didn’t suit my taste. But recently, it dawned upon me. I felt that way because I was shallow and descriminating, a product of society’s expectations. Serena Williams is fabulous at her sport. With 20 grand slams in her trophy cupboard and competing for her 21th, she is one of the best tennis players of all times. We are drawn towards winners. We love champions. Yet, why do people often support Serena’s opponents, whoever they may be?

In fact, lots of people despise her. If they are feeling sutble, they describe her playing style as ‘too manly’ but when they are feeling more truthful perhaps, words like animalistic and savage come out. They despise her for her strength, her looks and her ethnicity. They criticize her because she doesn’t fit society’s definition of a respectable woman. Women are meant to be petite and subdued, dainty and delicate. In essence, weak. On the surface, Serena seems to be quite the opposite.

Our brains have been hardwired with these cultural expectations that we are ashamed of what is right. By supporting Serena, you’re going against the current. You are challenging society’s decision to write off Serena because she isn’t what we expect.

Therefore, I will support Serena Williams. I will celebrate in her victory and support her in her loss. I believe she should be admired for here tenacity, talent and tireless efforts.

P.S She won! 21 grand slams! She is amazing indeed!

Watching the 2015 Wimbledon Women’s Final at One New Change (Near St. Paul’s Cathedral)

Sophie Annalise

Guidance for the lost

Tags

bible, Christ, guidance, lost, redeemed, truth

Psalm 43:3  Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me.

God’s truth can guide me when I feel lost. Oh how I forget! The truth of my identity in Christ, the truth that I have been redeemed by God, the truth that eternity awaits. God’s word is his truth. Reading the bible will root me in my relationship with God and guidance will follow. Look to the giver and not the gift.

To all my brothers and sisters in Christ: You are dearly loved and have been specially chosen by the One who knows all things. Don’t spurn his love. Meditate on his truth, run back to his loving arms and praise him!

Sophie Annalise